literature

A day at the park

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Literature Text

Winds caress the fields 
Dancing the taraxacum in the breeze
Gliding over the emerald grass
Meeting the turquoise of the bay.

Shadow like Buildings in the distance
Fading in and out of the fog
Shrouding the hustle and noise
Flanked by headlands on the right.

The ferry house stands derelict 
Sheltering old steel beams 
Waters below corrode their last memories
It's former glory etched in black and white.

Buoys chime a relaxing tune 
As cries of seagulls serve as the chorus 
Yonder ship horns hymn the bass
And crashing waves sing the lead.

The sun peaks from the veil of grey
Bathing city and bay in silver light
I lie on the grass and enjoy it all
A day at the park.














 
Hello :)

Ok for this piece I would like to know whether or not the stanzas seem too random, and how well do they tie in with each other?

Secondly, how well does the last stanza end the poem?

Third, were you able to get a clear vision of the enviornment from the descriptions in the poem?

Lastly does the first stanza seem a bit repetitive?

Here is my link :) [link]

Thank you and take care! :)
© 2012 - 2024 Sarrain
Comments11
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SoldiersWolf's avatar
Random no way I felt like I was there with your beautiful imagery. They tie in pretty well given the context of the poem.

Ending the poem with the title cliche yeah, but I do it to sometimes a lot even as well.

Didn't I just say I felt like I was there? Well I'll say it again anyway. Great stuff.